Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Today we said goodbye to Dad again by Claire

My husband works overseas and saying 'goodbye' is part of the course of our lives for over 2years now. You would be forgiven for thinking it gets easier with 'practise' but saying goodbye never does.

The girls are getting older and the eldest one (7) is better at handling it, the youngest (2) looks up at airplanes and says 'bye daddy'. Whereas,I try being cheerful, I am really grumpy,antisocial and teary for a day or so afterwards but then I have to move on and look towards the next time he'll be home. The children can't make that decision ..to move on as 'matter of factly' as adults but they are quite resilient, and I've seen my girls cope better than me! My husband was explaining to 7yrold that he was leaving again and she informed him that its ok she's used to it and he'll be back. She has explained to my 2yrold that daddy is gone away to work but he will be home soon! Of course, hearing this exchange between my girls is heart wrenching, but 2yrold nods as if she understands and that's it ...discussion over!

Of course it's not really over and daddy is still missed terribly, he is spoken to and about everyday. Every time 2yrold sees a work van same colour as his she says daddy or if she hears a song that they've sung together..; 7yrold stockpiles things that daddy needs to fix when he gets home! 
While that is us, the ones left behind waiting, it must be dreadful actually being the one leaving. Getting on yet another plane;Killing time in yet another airport. Being so far away from  family and seeing the differences in the children each time you are home. That can't be the easiest thing in the world either, to put it mildly!
But unfortunately that's the way it has to be for now and maybe someday soon things will change.


Anne said...

Hi Claire! Found your blog through Twitter! That must be very hard for you and the girls ... sadly it is a sign of the times here with more work abroad than at home! Hopefully as you say things might change:)

Unknown said...

Hi Claire, your comments touched me too especially the thoughts from his side - I'd never really thought of it like that because it was my Dad that worked abroad. I hope it is reassuring for me to say that although we missed him it wasn't terrible and didn't have any negative effects on my or my sister. In fact I think we got more quality time with our Dad than some friends whose Dads worked long hours here because him and my mum made sure we did loads together in holidays and when he was home.

Claire said...

Thanks for ur comments. Actually must say..We try to do fun things & make memories when he's home. Xx thanks for that

Irish Allergy Mum said...

Hello Claire, We do the same thing say good bye to Daddy. I love how you are making memories. We have learnt to use our time together wisely. My eldest is very sensible about it all, but my 2 yr old finds it very confusing. As mums we have to be brave but we are allowed some down time. Love your blog